002 - S1E2 "Like Mother Like Daughter" with Martin Kunz

November 07, 2018

So I forgot to take a picture of me & Martin together when I recorded the show. Here we are in Santa Monica in 2011… and since neither of us looks a day older…

Women that Martin & I think resemble Blair's mother:

The original Monica Warner from S1E2 (Pam Huntington)

Shelley Fabares as Francine Webster in "One Day At A Time"

An afterthought: Farrah Fawcett in "Charlie's Angels"

NOT ON OUR LIST: soap star Marj Dusay, who would take over the role of Monica Warner for all future appearances of the character on "The Facts Of Life" (8 episodes according to IMDb).

DISCLAIMER: I own the rights to none of these images. They probably belong to some big monster corporation. Help me stick it to the man by looking at them.

001 - S1E1 "Rough Housing" with Matthew Arter

October 31, 2018

Matthew and I are very good friends with Film Critic and Man-About-Town Wink Wright and Officer Pat Friskem at Disney’s Hollywood Studios.

* CORRECTIONS / OMISSIONS / STUFF *

• "Welcome Back, Kotter" took place in New York. It's easy to get confused when this is the first image of the theme song in every episode:

Screen Shot 2018-09-09 at 8.25.07 AM.png

• The episode of "Fantasy Island" in which Annette Funicello has her ventriloquist puppet brought to life featured Maren Jensen (of "Battlestar Galactica" fame). Not Barbara Bach, former Bond girl and wife of Ringo Starr (as I said). And not CATHERINE Bach, who played Daisy Duke on "The Dukes of Hazzard" (as I meant).

• "Hello, Larry" child actress and Real Housewife Kim Richards is not married to the doctor on "Botched" (Terry Dubrow). I don’t remember what made me think that, I can’t figure it out. Totes wrong on that.

• The replacement for Mrs. Garrett on "Diff'rent Strokes" was Nedra Volz in the role of Adelaide.

If I ever join GrindR, Matthew says this should be my profile pic.

• Gary Coleman was 4’ 8” tall as an adult.

Screen Shot 2018-09-09 at 7.40.44 AM.png

• According to the Nielsen Ratings (acquired from Wikipedia), ABC was the dominant network in the 1978-1979 season. They had 17 of the top 30 shows; CBS had 9 and NBC had only 4. Its highest rated show was "Little House On The Prairie" at #14. Next is the "Monday Night Movie" (which immediately followed "Little House" so it had some help). I can't find any info as to which movie/movies it showed that year (write me if you know!). Then "CHiPs" is the next NBC 'hit' at #25. And at #27 ... this brand new show called "Diff'rent Strokes." No wonder somebody yelled "SPIN SOMETHING OFF FROM THAT!" NBC would continue to sputter along, adding "Real People" to the list the following year, and slowly bringing other hits like "Hill Street Blues," "The A-Team," and "Knight Rider" until the tides turned in 1984 with the premiere of a little monster of a show (run by a big monster of a man) that would save the whole network... "The Cosby Show."

*Whew* I think we all feel better now.

* VIDEO *

A very young Kim Fields in a Mrs. Butterworth's syrup commercial:

Theme to NBC's "Here's Boomer" (clearly a German version for some reason):

Mr. Belvedere clip "Sitcom + AIDS = FAIL" :

DISCLAIMER: I own the rights to none of these images or videos. I don't know who does. I got them off the internet so they are 100% legal. Don't try to sue me, I have no fucking money.

My Friend Bob Does Crazy Videos, Too

October 27, 2018

What if Eastland were to merge with Charles Xavier's School For Gifted Children? Take note of not just the editing, but the AMAZING production values to make this look so beautifully vintage!

Full "Facts Of Life" Theme Song

October 23, 2018

Gloria Loring, who co-wrote and performed the theme song, recorded a FULL LENGTH version of the song on her album “A Shot In The Dark” in 1984. It contains the rarely-heard second verse lyrics. Very fun. And VERY 1980s. (LOL to the erroneous pic of Melissa Etheridge at 2:11!)

You take the good, you take the bad
You take ‘em both and there you have
The Facts Of Life The Facts Of Life

There’s a time you gotta go and show
You’re growing now, you know about
The Facts Of Life The Facts Of Life

When the world never seems
To be living up to your dreams
And suddenly you’re finding out
The Facts Of Life are all about you, you

When there's someone that you care about
Who really isn't there enough
To slow you up when you're growing up
When you let him flirt and then you hurt
Waiting 'cause your date is late for showing up
Then you're growing up!

Well it's more than just the birds and the bees
You need someone telling you please!
There's only one conclusion
There will always be confusion over you, you

It takes a lot to get 'em right
When you're learning The Facts Of Life

You’ll avoid a lot of damage and
Enjoy the fun of managin’
The Facts Of Life
They shed a lot of light
If you hear ‘em from your brother
Better clear ‘em with your mother
Better get ‘em right
Call her late at night

You got the future in the palm of your hands
All you got to do to get you through is understand
You think you’d rather do without
You’ll never muddle through without the truth
The Fact Of Life are all about you!

(Lyrics reprinted without permission)

More Art From My Friend Bob

October 22, 2018

In 1982, the addition of “selected cable / pay listings” was a big deal for TV Guide. Before this, if you subscribed to Home Box Office, you had a separate program listing that was mailed to you each month. Listen to this podcast for more useless “Facts!” A new episode every week starting 10/31…!

www.facethefactspod.com

www.davidalmeida.com/podcast

What We Have To Look Forward To!

October 20, 2018

Somebody with a lot of time on his hands made this. (Most) every episode title with accompanying stills. Wow. Even I’m not this dorky about the show! Thanks, awesomeartistreturns!

The video notes say: “Note: Every episode is not in here because to get every episode on here would be time consuming but most episodes are on this video.” Mmm Hmmm… yeah, because THAT would be time consuming…

A Little Extra

October 19, 2018

There’s this guy named Bob. Bob and I have been friends for about 44 years. We grew up together loving the show. Bob is very good at graphic design. So, for the upcoming launch, he has been going crazy uncovering and tweaking old “Facts Of Life” graphics. Here is one that I just posted on social media. More to come… Bravo, Bob! And thank you for being a friend. (Wait… wrong show)